When I say this car seat recognizes the junk in your trunk, I don’t mean the stuff in your car trunk. Nope. This new innovative car seat will recognize its owner by analyzing his or her booty. It can identify you with 98% accuracy, and because of this, can be used to prevent theft. I think this would probably be much more effective than those annoying car alarms that nobody pays attention to anymore anyway.
My only question is, what happens when the size of our butts change? I know my butt gets bigger or smaller throughout the year (really, it does). Will it still know it is my butt that’s sitting in it? It works by measuring exact pressure points through a series of 360 sensors.
According to the Advanced Institute of Industrial Technology in Tokyo, this system is very reliable for anti-theft purposes since passwords, keys, and other things can be duplicated, but butt pressure cannot. I’m sure it would have an “off” switch too, right? I mean, it would have to be turned off while our car was being valeted or if we loan our car to a friend, right? In the future, this kind of technology has other applications as well. For example, sitting in your office chair could automatically log you into your computer since it would know it’s you sitting there, and you are ready to log in. Wow, I never knew a butt could be such a useful component in new technology!