If you are a couple who is looking into the possibilities of a surrogacy, then this is definitely a difficult decision-making process that you’re going through. For one, the chances are high that the path that brought you to this point was emotional, painful, and one that left a ton of scars. And now that you’re here at this fork in the road, you’ve got a lot on your mind. What does it mean to have a surrogate? How does the process exactly work? What are the risks of working with a surrogate? Do you need a lawyer to guide you through the process?
These questions and more are the ones that you’ve got to get answered before you start this process. Without knowing the answers to these questions, you are not going to be prepared to make the best decisions for you and your family.
However, you should know that surrogacy is a great option for couples who have had trouble having a baby on their own. In the past, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding surrogacy, but there is no doubt that this is a valid way to have a baby in today’s world. Keep reading down below to learn more about the things that every couple should have in mind before you opt to have a surrogate.
1. Ensure That You Have A High-Quality Lawyer On Your Side Throughout The Process
When you think about surrogacy, the first thing that you probably think about is what kind of lawyer you need to get or if you even need one. You definitely need to get a high-quality lawyer on your side who is going to help you draft out all of the agreements and contracts between parties. You definitely don’t want to get into any unwanted legal trouble if you don’t need to. There are going to need to be agreements drafted with the agency, the parents and their carrier, the person donating the egg and the couple, and between insurance companies. There’s no way you can do this on your own without a law degree!
And think about it. You are not going to be in the emotional state to deal with all of this on your own. Your frustration, happiness, anger, or whatever emotions you are feeling are going to get in the way of having rational dealings. When you have a lawyer on your side, he or she is going to be able to handle the legal proceedings of surrogacy for you. On top of all of that, you are going to have to deal with surrogacy law in multiple states as the egg-donor, carrier, and parents could be living in various states.
2. Make Sure That You Really Click With Your Carrier
Think about this. The relationship that you have with your carrier is going to last a lifetime. This is the woman who is going to be carrying your baby and whose genes will be a part of your child. That’s why you should definitely think hard about which carrier you’re going to choose. If you choose a carrier who you don’t click with, you are not going to trust this person as much and you are just not going to like being around her.
Go through all of your choices very carefully and clear all your doubts with the surrogate. This is going to ensure that you pick a surrogate who you enjoy being around, who you trust with this great responsibility, and who you want to be part of your life and your child’s life for the long-run.
3. Try Not To Be Bitter
One of the most important things to keep in mind as you’re going through the surrogacy process is to not be bitter. It might be the case that you’ve been through an incredibly rough time in the past few years as you’ve tried and failed to have children. You may have figured out that it’s medically impossible for you to have a child. Or you might have almost gotten there, but some tragic complication came about. It’s important for you to understand that none of these things are your fault and that you can stay positive about this process. Surrogacy is going to be a great way for you to get the children of your dreams and bitterness about the past will just get in the way of that.
4. You’re Going To Have To Come To Terms With The Fact That The Baby Might Not Look Like You
The next thing that you should realize before you sign a contract with a surrogate is that the baby might not look just like you. It’s even true that if you were having the baby yourself, the baby might not look like either parent. This is especially true when you’re looking at a surrogate as she is going to have some say in their genetics, as well. Genetics is a pretty complicated field, so there’s no one answer as to how your baby is going to look. That’s why it’s important to remember not to have high expectations as to your baby’s appearance and letting it be a problem while connecting with your kid.
5. Think About How You’re Going To Feed Your Child Once He Or She Is Born
The last thing that every couple should think about before having a baby is how you’re going to feed the child after he or she is born. Now, you’re probably thinking a lot about the surrogacy process and getting through this emotional time. However, you’ve got to properly prepare for the aftermath, as well. Are you going to be breastfeeding the baby? Or are you going to go for the bottle or some other method? This is something that you should consult with your doctor about before the baby is born. That way, you can properly prepare for what’s coming.
There you have it! When you’re opting for surrogacy as the way to get the child of your dreams, then you’ve got to remember the above points. Keep these in mind and the process is going to go much smoother.
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