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You Venn Some. You Lose Sum.
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You Venn Some. You Lose Sum.

7 Years Ago By Khayyam Wakil

After taking statistics classes for years and years, some of it must have rubbed off on me. Now that I’m actively involved in the internets, my observations in pattern recognition have been ramped to an extraordinary amount. I just love uncovering new ways of analyzing data and fiend for any kind of data visualization or infographic. So when I stumbled upon a site that automagically produced Venn diagrams with keywords that I could pick… well, let’s just say I was elated. Yes, I know. Nerdy and kind of sad. Well, it’s my sad and nerdy.

So instead of boring you with analysis on ROI mixing with sentiment and their basic metrics, I’ve decided to return to a former condition of my youth and innocence.

Once upon a time…

Now all this means is that 48 people refer to Red Riding Hood specifically. Not Little Red Riding Hood, just Red Riding Hood. The people from Little Red Riding Hood scrap metal and junk yard ordered me to stop including them in my Venn diagrams and would sue me if I published them. Sounds like it’s run by a good old friend of mine from the state of Nevada. Regardless, that’s who their talking about, not the metal scrap yard fellas.

Must have been breakfast time because 40 people were talking about green eggs and ham while 115 people are just having plain eggs and ham. I’ll have to check out how many Canadian’s are in the mix with a ‘maple syrup’ variable next time.

Oh yes, and the three blind mice come up 7.3 times in conversation. Not the most popular bunch out there, most people don’t even mention their blind mice, let alone counting three of them. Good things come in three’s, no?!

Now the three little pigs, they’re internet famous with the whole #bacon thing and all. At that particular moment 13 people were referring directly to them, 27 referring to the little pigs and 900 people talking about three little things.

Invite the Cat in the Hat to come out and play and what do you get?! 835 people mentioning the Cat in the Hat, just like that. 3436 people go out of their way to talk smack about being in a hat.

Winnie the Pooh joins the Cat in the Hat. What you don’t know is that Winnie isn’t as social savvy as the Cat in the Hat (he was using FriendFeed this whole time). People only @ Winnie the Pooh 266 times and rarely mention Winnie or Pooh by themselves. Brand loyalty I tell you. It’s no Winnie without the Pooh. You can have a Cat in a bunch of things that rhyme with hat, it’s quite possible, sounds phat.

The Cat and the Hat along side Winnie the Pooh conversed about our planet and all things doomed, but when it comes to the truth about our planet being tomb, only 0.5 persons talk about the negative perspective in full bloom.

We have a dream? 1278 to be exact people who declare with their arms raised, saying to the world, “I have a dream”. Either that or 1278 people that raised their hands and said I. Another possibility is that they were just quoting a famous speech by someone or something, who’s to know?! Google, that’s who. Ask them. They know everything.

But what about those that dream and have dreams?! Well, people who might have just dreams would be in the ballpark of 1221. That makes it only a 57 people that have dreams and declare that they have dreams. Not a lot of courage people. “I have a dream”, it’s easy. After that, pray for the ambition that partners up with the dream. Aye, there’s the rub.

And of course my dream contains a world filled with peace, love and happiness. However the real world only converges on this concept 61 times. Everyone talks about love, some even find love and happiness (642 if I’m not mistaken), but to find all three. That’s sad. Talking about love three times as much as peace. Don’t nobody know if you’re at peace, love will come find you?! Silly rabbit.

Let’s see how many people want to give peace a chance… ah… 29. Promising.

We are in agreement that most people can forget. Out of sight, out of mind I think the phrase is. Lot of people talking about forgetting, but to forgive and forget?! 3691 people talking about forgiveness and 21,372 mentions of forgetting. That converges on a dismal 320 people who will forgive and forget. Not enough people, we need to step up production or there will be some people losing out here. Don’t make me tell you again. And make sure and fill out those TPS reports on my desk EOD or COB, whichever is sooner. Ok, what was I talking about now… ah yes…

It all boils down to love. And when it comes down to these Venn diagrams, it’s just like the title says: You venn some, you lose sum. The last diagram is the only sample whose metrics lie outside of our traditional pattern. You see, there are 9,680 mentions of one and 12,987 mentions of love. If however, you were looking for one love, then 14,864 converge to find it.

So my findings are that people don’t care about the stories that fill our imaginations as children because there isn’t a new movie with a merch deal with the golden arches promoting like it’s opening weekend. People generally don’t think the world is coming to an end, frightening, but accurate. And I will conclude with people are on this planet seeking out validation. Almost everyone is talking about love. I think that’s the solution. Oh ya, and something else… I forget.

Ah yes… that peace is the answer to love. I’m going to call now and see if love picks up. They’re answering, “Hello, love? This is peace. You wanna hang out some time?!”

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