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Twitter Intimidation Explained

11/27/2009 - 9:00 pm By Diana Adams

If you are new on Twitter, I hope this article sheds some light on the relationship building aspect of social media.

When I first started on Twitter, I remember being intimidated by people with a lot of followers. I would follow their tweets but I would never introduce myself, thinking that those people would not have time to say hello to me. I would just quietly learn from them but not interact.

Now that I have 20,000 followers (which I’m very humbled and grateful for), I just want you to know how silly that way of thinking is. The way I see it, Twitter is the great equalizer. We all start at the same level. We all build our reputation one tweet at a time. We all build our following at our own pace.

When I began to engage with people on Twitter, I would send them a tweet and then sit at my computer in anticipation of a reply. If they didn’t reply, I would feel intimidated and sad. I would wonder why they didn’t reply. I would wonder what was wrong with me.

Yeah, I know, I needed to get a grip. I hope that if you’ve ever felt this way, I can help you release those feelings. There is never any reason to feel intimidated or nervous about tweeting anyone. Nobody can make you feel inferior unless you let them, right? Remember that. Just because someone has a lot of followers does not mean they are “better” than you or “above” you.

Like in real life, some people on Twitter are a little social, some are overly social (like me) and some are not social at all, but it is not because of YOU. Unless you’ve done something to ruin your reputation on Twitter (see http://bit.ly/6Y1zDi), do not internalize it when someone does not interact with you.

There are many people that like to keep their tweets pertaining to business, others only interact one-on-one through direct message, others only reply to their mentions once a week. Everyone has their own style. We are all unique.

This is a tweet I received yesterday from someone that is brand new on Twitter:

I receive tweets like this weekly. It saddens me. Let this be a reminder that Twitter is truly about engaging with others. Please remember that as you go about your day. Continue to tweet whoever you want, without being sad if they don’t respond. Continue to spread joy, pass on valuable information and be happy – after all, that is what it is all about, self-expression.

I would like to thank http://www.flickr.com/photos/freetwitterbackgrounds/ for the super fab photo above.

This video has absolutely nothing to do with this topic. It’s just some Twitter satire that makes me laugh every time I watch it. Enjoy!

More Articles By Diana Adams | Articles: 723

Author: Diana Adams

By day, Diana is the CEO/owner of Adams Consulting Group, Inc, a technology services and business solutions consultancy firm serving the specific needs of its clients in advertising and public relations. By night, she lives and breathes by writing. After publishing a small cookbook last year, she is now working on her new masterpiece, scheduled for publishing next year. “I could write all night long and not get tired of it. I think that is when you know you’ve tapped into a true passion. Whatever that thing may be, if you could do it all day or night long, lose track of time, ‘wake up’ ten hours later, and still thirst for more, that is a passion, and I feel like I’ve found that in my writing.” Diana also spends many hours each week assisting the homeless men and women in Atlanta. You can find her on Twitter at @adamsconsulting.


29 Comments

Nathan

November 28th, 2009

A) That really is an amazing photo!
B) I totally agree. I was really intimidated by users with lots of followers to, but in a way Twitter is like the first day of 9th grade. You have to relearn social skills and almost everyone’s at an equal playing field!
C) I can almost imagine Flutter glasses really existing!

[Reply]

The Barking Unicorn

November 28th, 2009

It is the ego which craves attention and is intimidated when it doesn’t get attention.

It is the ego which says, “I have 20,000 followers but I’m really humble about that.”

It is the ego which is concerned with building a reputation. Concern with what you think of yourself is pride. Concern with what others think of you is vanity.

It is the ego which is anxious to Tweet things of which others approve – “valuable” information.

The ego is a false center created by the society. Only when you ignore the false center will you find your true center.

http://deoxy.org/egofalse.htm

Sing, like you don’t need the money.
Love, like you’ll never get hurt.
Dance, like nobody’s watching.
It’s gotta come from the Heart if you want it to work.

- Kathy Mattea.

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.”

Mine is to help you.

[Reply]

Paul Geffen Reply:

Right!

Twitter is a broadcast medium, not a conversation.

You may not know for a very long time whether what you sent had any effect. And that’s OK.

[Reply]

Sü Smith Reply:

Oh that is beautiful! This comment really made my day!

The post is awesome too. ;)

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easisell.com

November 28th, 2009

LOVE flutter. Had me lolling this morning. Can’t wait for Shttr!

No one can be superhuman and respond to every single tweet – sometimes it’s worth mentioning this in the BIO if you’re getting a lot of replies.

It kinda means that you’re being very successful on Twitter – people will be people and that’s OK – you know it’s not personal and that should be enough :)

Thanks Diana.

[Reply]

Diana Adams

November 28th, 2009

Thank you all for your comments. I really appreciate your perspectives.

Happy Holidays,
Diana

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[...] Read More Here… Share and Enjoy: [...]

Geoff Laughton

November 28th, 2009

Great piece Diana….it’s truly a big concern for so many that are relatively new to Twitter (or for those of us who may be in the intermediate level of involvement. I find, for myself, that one of the biggest challenges is to really discern the best ways/strategies for truly building real relationships on Twitter. I really don’t need to know the 5 million ways to do buy this or that, but would like to really get to engage in dialogue on issues of connection and new paradigms for relating that will see us through the transitions and changes that our world is going through.

So, any advice or commentaries that can help us Tweeple get beyond what seems like a uni-focus on self-promotion seems worthwhile. Thanks for what you’re doing toward this end.

[Reply]

Diana Adams Reply:

Dear Geoff,

Thank you for your insightful comment. I know it may seem like there is a uni-focus on self-promotion; however, I really think it all depends on who you follow.

If you filter your tweets with an app like Tweetdeck or Seesmic and only closely follow the tweets of those that you want to build relationships with, everything changes, for the better.

At least that is what I started doing many months ago and it made a huge difference for me.

Best of luck to you,

Diana

[Reply]

Geoff Laughton Reply:

Diana,
Thanks for your response…would you be willing to share with us semi-newbies the best way to do that filtering in Tweetdeck?

Have a great day,
Geoff

[Reply]

Diana Adams Reply:

Ohhhh… you aren’t doing that? Well, you are going to love this!

I would recommend installing TweetDeck. Then, you’ll be looking at several different columns. One column will be for everyone you follow. Others might be for favorites, DMs and mentions.

The most important column though will be one that you create and name “Best Buddies” or “Friends” or “VIP” or whatever. In that column, put the people that you want to build relationships with.

I follow over 21,000 people, but I only have about 40 people in my VIP column.

When I open TweetDeck, I can instantly see who of my 40 favs are online and tweeting, and I know I won’t miss any of their tweets.

It makes it sooo much easier to communicate on Twitter when you do this! I’m constantly moving people back and forth between columns as I meet new people, etc…

If you try this, let me know how it works! I think you’ll love it. It will give you a whole new perspective!

Diana

@Anahuasca

November 28th, 2009

Twitter, here in Brazil is different. The microstars (yep, microstars) never give a reply for the fans. They live in their small world.

[Reply]

David

November 28th, 2009

Constructive criticism, RE: “There are many people that like to keep their tweets pertaining to business…” Better to use “who” than “that” when referring to humans.

[Reply]

Manal Assaad Reply:

Constructive criticism 2, it’s actually quite grammatically correct to use both “That” and “Who” when referring to humans; and “That” and “Which” when referring to non humans. That I’m sure of for the many semesters I taught English grammar to college students who were very lousy at it.

[Reply]

[...] read more…. [...]

Phil Staudt

November 28th, 2009

I have met some very cool people because of Twitter. It is possible to meet and interact with real people. I see Twitter as a springboard to find out about a person’s website, blog, or facebook page. As far as meaningful conversations and messaging, Twitter is lacking. Twitter is the cocktail party in the world of social networking.

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Manal Assaad

December 3rd, 2009

LOL awesome post. And thanks a lot for the publicity, even if that made me look a little pathetic haha. It’s not actually intimidation from being social. I actually expected Twitter to be even more of a social ground than Facebook. I was just shocked at how everyone was just so busy promoting their business/blog/website etc. that they only cared about gaining more and more followers without actually making an effort to socialize with those followers and turning them into loyal ones. And it’s because I believed that no one is better than anyone else (I’m darn important myself even if I don’t have thousands of followers to prove it) that I actually approached some of those “Golden” tweeters. I was in it to build social relationships, that’s why I felt rewarded when you took the time connect with me.
I wish that everyone would get off their high horse and be more like you.
Keep it up!

[Reply]

Sü Smith Reply:

Ha! You didn’t look pathetic. ;)

Everybody here is super kind that way. I really believe this is why the site grows so fast. It’s almost like developing family bonds.

Honestly, the reason why I continued to use twitter was because one of the users here actually found me and followed me, and I felt so much gratitude for this. I also got used to how twitter works and started checking out friendorfollow.com. I began making sure that I’d be able to develop a relationship with the people I’m following. If they don’t appear to follow back, I keep on going. When people follow me — I always follow them back — unless they are spammy or have a profile that’s emitting less than kindness. Otherwise it’s just shallow and not fulfilling or exhilarating for that matter!

Namaste’

[Reply]

Elaine (laineyd7)

December 9th, 2009

Diana, this is the reason I continue to follow you and always read your postings. Thank you for being genuine and unselfishly sharing with all of us.

[Reply]

Sü Smith Reply:

Yeah, she’s awesome isn’t she? Yay for Diana! Woo woo hurrah! It really warms my heart and helps me to have stronger faith in humanity, lol! The folks replying to her comments are just as awesome as she is.

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Diana Adams Reply:

Awww… Thank you to both of you. You made my day. ~ Great big hugs ~

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Nicole Reply:

It’s all true, Diana! You were the first person I had the guts to DM or @ here on twitter because you are so real and approachable. I love you for that! Never lose those wonderful qualities and thanks for setting such a fine example of how we should treat others!

Xandre Lima

January 10th, 2010

I hate the text formatting of this blog… Tehere are too much stuff at the top before reaching the actual post we wan to read… Why so much visual noise before the content?

[Reply]

Sü Smith Reply:

This blog is very well designed. The fluff is called “social networking” and a little advert, and is only about 1 1/2 in. At least it’s not gawdy adsense not well placed, mixed in with the post content. Seen too many of those lately.

;)

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Diana Adams Reply:

You go girl, I just love you. Thank you!! :)

[Reply]

How to: Really Like Twitter

January 17th, 2010

[...] it’s not the end of the world!  (I’ve come to learn that personally, and I was even featured in a post for it). Perhaps they are very busy, or maybe that’s just their style and they don’t like to [...]

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January 30th, 2010

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[Reply]

Brent ~ the roseman

March 21st, 2010

So, master Jedi Diana, I, your young (not) padawan have learned much from you. Soon the student shall be the master… (said in a deep dark voice… oh, and insert “evil laugh” here.) :D

…Of course you reply with: “Much to learn you still have…my old padawan.” … “This is just the beginning!”

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o188/sistermugwort/yoda_smoking.jpg

[Reply]

5-squared

May 12th, 2010

Great post! I’m fairly new to twitter, and I can relate to your post for sure. Lately I’ve been using it a lot more actively and I’m slowly getting more followers which is pretty cool. I just got my first RT the other day and felt all special. I’m a dork, I know ;)

Very funny video as well. Flutter.

[Reply]

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