The Big Bird of Twitter

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?! Or in this case and story, which came first, the tester or the founder?! Did you ever wonder who the first Twitter account went out to?

With the roll out of the new Tweetie2 application, it now allows you to see what your “membership” number is. For example, Matt Buchanan is the 14,313,712th user to register an account on Twitter. In addition, I’ll have you note his prolific bio. Short and succinct right?! He should have been hired at Twitter instead of Gizmodo.

I can't screencapture, so I stole this from Gizmodo. And why is this image stuck to-the-left-to-the-left?! I've done everything, I swear. Whatever, we'll have to deal with it.

Ok, so the other day, well, a long time ago the other day, a question popped up on my radar that caught my eye. And it comes from one gentlemen whom I hold in very high regard that keeps on ignoring me. Until now.

@jeffstaple said...

Yup. That’s what he said. And I jumped at the chance to offer my two cents. And he actually replied. I was just as surprised as you. So a brief little bromance began and we tried guessing at who was where and what was what. What was this magic that Jeff Staple had in his possession that he could pull user numbers out from thin air?! Ya, I’ve already told you that part, Tweetie2. So regardless of my ability to tell a story in a linear fashion, the question had been asked. There had to be an answer. So I championed the cause and sent out the following:

It's better than a Dear John letter, no?!

So there it was, my micro-letter to Twitter. My intentions were to receive an answer and an answer I did receive, however, it was from the least expected source:

@jack said...

Wow. Mr.@Jack actually responded to me. A man of very few words but can you read all the wonderment between the lines?! No?! Ok, I’ll help you.

Khayyam, you’re the most awesomest dude! Especially for asking this question. Inquiring minds want to know. I’ll give you the short and sweet of it because I have to be up early in the morning for a conference call to co-purchase the interwebs and invest in some up and coming companies. So here it is… me, I was the 12th user registered on Twitter. It should have been you, but you didn’t return my emails.

I know, right?! He’s such a nice guy (and handsome too). Thing is this, my hotmail account was just flooded with spam mail and his must of been mixed up in there. No harm. I’ve got his number now.

So of course I had to respond and it went a little something like this:

And then @iamkhayyam said...

What? What’s wrong with trying to give a little incentive?! Maybe he didn’t have one yet?! I offered it to everyone else, just made sense to offer him one as well. After all, he is just another guy.

To which I received the response:

then @jack said...

And again, the meaning between the words was received as this:

My main man Khayyam. You’re so cool, I wish I could have a hat like yours. Where did you get it and how can I be down?! So to answer your question, I was the first account. Technically I wasn’t the first, my minions that were slaving away making this thing what it is today, they don’t count. But seriously, when can we do lunch?

Yours truly, Jack.

Isn’t that @jack the nicest Jack you know?! Jack me nimble, Jack me quick, Jack made it possible to retweet a certain way. Can you please talk some sense into the other two guys, you know, Larry and Mo. They’ve done and gone against the grain with this whole new retweet system. Us regular twitter abusers created it, we should be able to have a say in it. I know, I know… the big picture. Got it. Not going to follow it, but I got it.

So I followed up:

And then I had to thank the man... but that's just me doing a lot of ass kissing, we'll leave that out for now.

I offered didn’t I?! It would be rude not to offer it. Then I got a sweet reply to this:

Sweet dreams

I think he must of accidently forgot to paste my name in there when he sent the tweet. It’s pretty hard to delete it from Tweetie and probably knew that I’d understand. Again, here’s what’s being said between the characters and the period:

Khayyam, it’s getting late and like a said before I have to co-purchase the interwebs in the morning. Good talk. We’ll have to do it some other time. I’m in New York next week, let’s link up and have some tea and bickies, ya?! My treat. You know where to get a hold of me, so for now… sleep well and dream even better.

Jack out.

You see. He may be a magnificently handsome man with a tailor who has to custom make his pants to fit those big money bags with $ symbols on them into his pockets, but he’s just another guy with a big heart, good intentions and an acumen that rivels the greats.

So there you have it. Jack is 12th, Biz is 13th and for some reason Ev is rounding it up at 20th. The support or customer service staff must have 14th through 19th. That’s my guess

Image: Anthony Grimley