Summer has officially ended. Cue the transitional season known as fall which was created as a buffer to ease into the death and chaos that is winter. For some of us, especially those in temperate regions, this can be fairly sucky. But friends, I’ve got a little something that might ease that seasonal depression and give rise to a new admiration for the time of year some people call autumn. It’s my official fall 2012 list of definitive geek awesomeness.
Instead of flooding your social networks with dark and pessimistic statuses like, “It’s raining corpses outside. Shriveled leaf corpses” or “Had to put on pants,” you’ll be spreading awkwardly ebullient updates like, “Take your sweet time in hell, Persephone!” and “#* (weird emoticon I just created to display my uncontrollable excitement for fall)”.
The following to-do list was specially designed by a total geek (me) to provide you with exceptionally geeky fall entertainment. It was made in such a way that almost anyone on earth can actualize it. So everyone, let your dork out (except for whales) and have a ball this fall!
The Fall 2012 List Of Definitive Awesomeness
SICKtember (September 22nd and on)
September is the most common birthday month (yours truly was even born in September). Get crafty and make some fun and creative birthday cards for your friends and family. I don’t write for Hallmark, but here is a one-liner I’ve been working on: “You’re (age)? It looks as though your biological clock is set a little fast. Ha Ha Happy Birthday!” Or you can go and get some more worthy inspiration from these 8-bit Popup Cards.
Borderlands 2 is the largely anticipated sequel to the first-person shooter / role-playing game Borderlands (who would’ve guessed?). If it’s anything like the first, it will surely be an addictive masterpiece that will keep us busy until the new Halo and Call of Duty titles are released in November. But I’ll get to those later.
What model number are we on again? It doesn’t matter; go buy it. You’ll be the coolest kid on your neighborhood block for about a month. Then Apple will use a technique known as cannibal marketing, where they will release a new model before the old one even has time to peak in sales. If you entered yourself into a contract, you’ll be stuck with that depreciating brick for years. No, but in all seriousness, it’s probably going to be pretty awesome. I’m likely buying like three of them.
There is an incredible amount of buzz surrounding the movie Looper. And I’m willing to bet, it’s for good reason. The premise is brilliant, the cast is stacked, and apparently it’s full of enough twists and turns to make the king of plot twists, M. Night Shyamalan, break his neck.
Lots of Beer… And cleavage… Umm, there’s probably some sort of historical / other significance to this event too. Maybe I’ll just give you The Women of Oktoberfest. Oh, you want to actually know what Oktoberfest is? I thought those pictures would be fulfilling enough. Well, similar to that of St. Patrick’s Day, the true importance of Oktoberfest has kind of been forgotten, and the event is just another reason to drink too much beer (probably due to drinking too much beer).
No, you’re not watching patrons of a post-Oktoberfest. The Walking Dead is back! How could you not enjoy a program about a group of characters you grow to love who have their sanity perpetually strained past the breaking point as they witness everyone they care about ripped apart or converted to death walkers and hold the ever present thought that they are next?
The DC Comics character Green Arrow is getting his own television show called Arrow. So watch out Hawkeye and Katniss Everdeen; this futuristic looking Robin Hood wants his turn to display his bow skills. I just really hope he uses those arrows with the boxing glove tips. Those were hilariously appropriate.
Obviously! It’s like Christmas for adults. If you don’t enjoy it, you’re doing it wrong. Alright, so you have to willingly give away your delicious candy and attempt to fend off punk pre-pubescent pumpkin smashers, but it’s really the best time of the year!
I’ve always had the mentality that there are members of the opposite gender who have a sexual inclination to a multitude of characters (real or fictional) that you can potentially dress up as. Two things should now come to mind for you: sexual role-play and actualizing fantasies.
You can find all kinds of incredibly creative carved pumpkins all over the net. I’m sure you’ve seen some of these awe-inspiring works based on some of your favorite pop culture. How about this year you make your own? And then maybe instead of your pumpkin being stolen for the purpose of smashing it, it will be stolen for its artistic value. No, they’ll probably still smash it. But at least it will be a smash hit! :/
Maybe I should’ve added this to November’s list so we can get product reviews and have any of the issues that Microsoft is notorious for sorted out first. For the remaining who have not been converted to Apple, this will hopefully be a good update.
The third in the Assassin’s Creed franchise will be out to assassinate your social life (because I just know your social life is important enough to use the term assassinate). The first two were great and this one has promises of being even greater.
Call of Duty: Black Ops II and Halo 4! I long debated whether or not I needed to add any other items to November’s list. Let’s be honest, for a lot of us, these two games are the only things we’ll be doing this month. As a recovering Halo addict, this will be a difficult month. My attempted abstinence will only be tested further as I will also be struggling with a lack of confidence from my mock-worthy Movember mustache – which leads me to the next item on the list…
Movember is the movement in which you are granted social acceptability under the protection of a charitable cause (Movember) to grow a mustache. A little tip for the stache-disinclined like myself: Begin growth in October with the excuse that it’s meant for your Halloween costume.
Early Christmas Shopping:
This is entirely dependent on what the gift is and where you plan on getting it from. Sometimes, the mayhem and carnage of Christmas shopping just can’t be avoided. I recommend supplying yourself with some back-up gifts, in case an old lady purse-smashes you to the ground in the battle for the last of the most coveted gift of the holidays.
Homemade Christmas Gifts:
Perhaps this year put a little more effort into the confectionery gift you give your parents. Instead of throwing it together Christmas Eve with leftover gift wrap, dry macaroni and superfluous amounts of glitter – get started now. Come Christmas time, maybe it will be a little more elaborate and easy on the eyes.
Wreck It Ralph looks to be another Disney classic. All you need to know is that it is centered on video games and has therefore caught my attention.
DOcember (December until the 20th)
I’m going to try to remain professional and not freak out about this one. The Hobbit!!!!!!! Enough said.
The Geminids meteor shower is considered to be the best of the year by space pundits. It produces about 60 multicolored meteors per hour at its peak on the 13th and 14th. So go somewhere free from city lights, get out your telescope (lowly unenhanced human eyes work too) and take in these natural fireworks.
And that’s it for my fall list of geek awesomeness! Please feel free to ambush my Twitter if you think I missed something. You’ll probably notice I left out Comic/Anime/Fan Conventions. Make sure to attend such if they are in your area. And sorry reader, but surviving the end of the world is in next season’s list. Good luck with all that!