9 Things to Avoid When Accepting an Award

As my first post here on bitrebels.com, I’d like to take the stage and say a few words:

“Thank you so much! I always dreamed about what it would be like to write for Bitrebels.com someday, but I never actually thought it would happen. I write about printing, marketing, and design, so thank you so much for letting me write about more interesting topics like video games and large mechanical hands…”

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Sorry about that… Kanye West just grabbed the keyboard from me and started typing random crap. I was about to start thanking people before I was interrupted. Now I will have wait until Alyssa Milano hits the Bit Rebels stage (Alyssa does have the best Twitter account of all time).

Kanye West made headlines with his outburst during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the Video Music Awards. The moment was quite embarrassing for both musicians. The incident made me think: what if that were me accepting the award? Since there is no way to avoid what famous rappers will do or say, you should focus on your own actions when you take the stage. If you ever find yourself nominated (at the VMA’s or elsewhere), remember these 9 things you should avoid when accepting an award:

1. Go over the allotted time. It’s really difficult for your mother to hear “Thank you” when the exit music is playing.

2. Be irrelevant. Talk about something that has nothing to do with anything. That should keep people quiet.

3. Don’t talk, just stare at the audience. After all, you can’t slip on any words if you don’t say any at all.

4. Be selfish. Don’t mention “thanks” to anyone. Let everyone know you could have done this on your own.

5. Bad language. Use words that are sure to get “bleeped” out on television. The more you insert, the less time you will need to come up with genuine content.

6. Tell jokes. That joke you tell your friends about the blond and the jew are sure to win the hearts of many.

7. Get political. Who does not love talking politics?

8. Act like its no big deal. Heck, you win these awards all the time. You have better things to do than show up and be recognized for a great accomplishment.

9. Be the next days headline. If you really want to make an impression, take the stage when someone else is getting their own award. Grab the mike. Be a fool.

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