What? Nobody in your house eats dinner together? If you’re like me, you don’t even have a dinner table. Who needs a dinner table when you’ve got a hot pink beanbag and a ’70s style shag carpet rug to sit on? Yeah, you can come over for dinner. Just grab a paper plate. We don’t wash dishes either. It’s Chinet all the way baby. Eating dinner at my house is a whole experience in itself, but enough about that.
It might be worth it to get one of these tables just to see the look on someone’s face when they take an ass-plant if someone else leaves the table. That’s right. I’ll show you what happens to naughty boys who don’t ask for permission to leave the table. I can see how this would teach someone some table manners. It’s a shame it’s a table for two though. Imagine if this sucker could seat ten people. It would be chaos all through dinner.
To make this table complete, we just need an electrical charge added so if someone puts their elbows on the table, they get zapped. The most annoying thing is when people chew with their mouths open. Maybe the designer, Marleen Jansen, could add a secret hand that comes around and slaps the person’s face when he does that. Oh yeah, I have all kinds of ideas for this. It would be a torture table by the time I’m done with it.