The things you find on Etsy… I’m honestly still trying to figure out if this one’s serious or not (I’m leaning towards not), but someone’s made a post offering to help people look more like Nicholas Cage, at least in their photos. Photoshop ahoy- whoever sends a picture to the seller with a payment will have themselves a photograph with Cage’s radiant countenance in place of their own ugly mug in a matter of hours. Because hey, who doesn’t want to look more like Nicholas Cage, right?
“I don’t want to do this,” explains the seller, “nor will I gain any personal satisfaction. I’m not some twisted Nick Cage fan; I don’t even watch movies and I can’t explain why he haunts my dreams…I’m doing this because I need $12.”
This isn’t just some hack offering to chop away at a picture with Photoshop, either. The guy’s actually a legitimate artist from Toronto with several gallery showings under his belt, including a recent showing in downtown Toronto. So, hey, at least you know you’ll get your money’s worth, right? He’s also offered a few additional features, including devilish eyes, battle wounds, herpes, a flying squirrel, a black cat, and Christian Slater. Each of these additional features costs a dollar more. A secondary service exists for those who already look like Nicholas Cage where they can pay $6 to look less like him. I dunno, check out the page and Cageify a picture, I guess?